So how did I find my purpose? I never did. It revealed itself to me like a puzzle being put together from a box with no picture. Leave it up to purpose to cause you to question how all the pieces of your life come together.
What does this piece go to? It just doesn’t fit. Why did that situation happen to me? What am I supposed to do with this?
It’s so frustrating wondering, second guessing, working toward something, and having no idea to what end.
Discovering your purpose is somehow expected to be this enlightening, passion-fulfilling experience. The clouds part, a beam of light comes out of the sky, and you hear this voice that says, “This is your purpose.” And everyday from that point on you live out your purpose because you finally know what it is…. HA! Wouldn’t it be nice if it was that simple?
Instead, my purpose in life was disguised in my pain, buried deep in my past, revealed in my strengths, and ignited through my passions.
My passion for fathering came from the pain and childhood sadness of having an absent father. Not being able to recall being hugged or hearing the words “I love you” from my father… I still cannot even think about this without getting teary-eyed. But this experience birthed in me a desire to be the dad that I wished I had and to break the generational cycle of scattered families and fatherless children.
I HAD TO CHOOSE over and over again to make this a reality. And I still have to choose every day and decide that this is who I am. When my son runs into my arms just to tell me he loves me and I squeeze him tight, there are simply no words. So Dad, I just want to say thank you! For the example that you didn’t know how to set, because it wasn’t given to you, actually ended up bringing out the best in me.
Purpose also found me after I lost my dream job in corporate America. With this, I lost more than my position and salary, I lost my identity and value of being able to provide as a ‘man.’ The stress, overwhelm and pain of losing my job, having a family, and being uprooted constantly as a military spouse rocked me at my core. There was no picture on my puzzle box of what to do with these pieces that were given to me or how to handle the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual stress of it all, not to mention how to adapt to saying goodbye to the goals and dreams of what I thought life would be.
Although I couldn’t see it at the time, when I look back I can see the picture. And it all turned out to be a blessing. My own struggles made me more sensitive to recognizing the struggles of others, which has equipped me to be more impactful in my current work.
Losing it all didn’t define me, it refined me.
That job loss opened the door for me to discover my passion as a speaker, coach, massage therapist, and yoga instructor. It opened me to empowering others to be limitless in body, mind, and life.
It put me on a path of training, deeper inner work and experience, allowing me to take control over my life, shift my relationship with stress and learn to let my heart lead me forward deeply. It was another piece that fell into place toward a more aligned life of encouraging, equipping, and empowering others… something I continually do for myself. This was just one piece of the puzzle.
This is what John C. Maxwell, the father of leadership, has to say about purpose:
“Whenever I mentor people and help them discover their purpose, I always encourage them to start the process by discovering their strengths, not exploring their shortcomings. Why? Because people’s purpose in life is always connected to their giftedness. It always works that way. You are not called to do something that you have no talent for. You will discover your purpose by finding and remaining in your strength zone.”
This is what John C. Maxwell, the father of leadership, has to say about purpose:
“Whenever I mentor people and help them discover their purpose, I always encourage them to start the process by discovering their strengths, not exploring their shortcomings. Why? Because people’s purpose in life is always connected to their giftedness. It always works that way. You are not called to do something that you have no talent for. You will discover your purpose by finding and remaining in your strength zone.”
So when you are living out life in your strength zone, you will inevitably find purpose… and joy in that purpose… living an aligned life of impact.
Here is the point: Purpose reveals itself in those defining moments. Purpose is where your past, present, and future meet. Purpose sparks the moment your misery becomes your ministry, your test becomes your testimony.
What desires do you have that you can’t run from? What is it that continues to give you butterflies and lights a fire in your belly? What is it that no matter where you go people (even strangers) share the same inspiring truth about who you are? If you start to look at the pain of your past and the desires of your future, it will give you insight into how to pursue your purpose in your present.
What is my purpose?
It is to live everyday intentionally, growing deeper into the person I’m meant to become, demonstrating what’s possible, and helping others do the same.
I’d love to hear your story. Share it with me. I bet we could see how all the puzzle pieces fit together and create the beautiful, unique picture that is you.
