Life is a series of beginnings and endings.
An infinite loop of creation, completion and the space between.
We move along collecting moments, experiences and memories that mark the passage of time. Innately, we seem to understand that life is fluid not static, and that change in its many forms is part of this journey.
We accept the progression of shifting seasons. We understand that spring will blossom into summer. With due diligence, devotion and commitment we nurture the seeds we have planted and trust that summer will lead us into autumn. Autumn ushers us into winter, where the fruits of our labor offer us sustenance and nourishment through the dark season until spring arrives again.
Creation.
Germination.
Birth.
Growth.
Culmination.
Completion.
Death.
Decomposition.
Regeneration.
Rebirth.
Seasons, cycles, phases. The universal rhythm of evolution, revolution and constant change.
How do we relate to ourselves within these cycles, when this outer unfolding becomes our inner experience?
How do we allow ourselves to feel our way through seasons of change?
Not what do we THINK, but instead, how do we FEEL?
Change, in any capacity, means that we will find ourselves face to face with uncertainty.
Uncertainty means quite simply,
“I don’t know.”
Sit with that for a moment.
Who are you when you “don’t know”?
When you don’t know what to expect.
You don’t know what comes next.
You don’t know where the road ahead will lead you.
Where do you stand when your sense of certainty dissolves? When your stability is disrupted and your reality is interrupted?
These are not questions that we find our way through quickly. They require their own season of introspection and contemplation to process. And the answers must come from within.
How do we get there?
We must allow ourselves to feel.
In the feeling space there will be an emotion that becomes your doorway.
For me, one of those doorways is grief.
I have come to recognize that at every major transformational juncture in my life, grief, in some form, awaits. Sometimes it’s apparent. I know it immediately.
And other times it feels more subtle. Like an undercurrent pulsing just beneath the surface of my awareness. Whichever shape grief assumes, I have learned to engage it as an interior emotional compass. If I allow it and go willingly, grief will guide me deeper into myself.
Over the years, I’ve learned to accept grief as a companion to help me navigate the unfamiliar. It has led me to my edges and invited me fully into presence. It has met me in my deepest resistance to change and helped me walk towards my fears.
I have felt grief rise up, a dense emotional wave, and pull me under in order to lift me up.
And then it buoys me. Steadies me and supports me. Holds me while I find my feet, and when I’m ready, my grief encourages me to bravely feel my way forward into a new season.
I believe that grief opens up the space to explore our longing. Longing for what was and now isn’t. For what wasn’t and what will never be. It invites us to move through and release the energy of old wounds and heal the scars of our woundedness. To shed what no longer serves and create space for something new.
When grief comes to call, it helps us see that accepting change and moving through it is a necessary experience of living. That life is transitory. To be alive means to participate in patterns of creation and completion.
Cultivating a fluid relationship with grief can support us all in learning how to meet life with less resistance and more of an open heart.
