When I hear the word boundaries I think of the Disney movie Moana, and plants.
What? You don’t? Hmm, that’s curious. Hang with me as I share what I mean!
Here’s a short synopsis of Moana from my perspective: a young girl is explorative and kind. She lives on and loves her island and the ocean. The ocean returns its affection and has a job for her to do. Moana’s father fears the ocean because of his past trauma. As the chief of the village, he is responsible for passing on its traditions and keeping the villagers safe. The boundary he creates for Moana is to stay on the island and not go in the water. He expects her to go along with this. In the song, “Where You Are,” he attempts to instill these values of safety and tradition in his daughter. The song goes along with the phrase “Bloom where you are planted,” a well known phrase from St. Francis de Sales, made famous by Paul Harvey and Marie Englebreit. Luckily, Moana also has a wise grandmother who tells her to follow the voice inside her, even if its message differs from the message of her father. The song, “How Far I’ll Go,” conveys Moana’s desire to follow her inner knowing and explore beyond the expectations and the island.
Ok, that‘s the movie part. Let’s connect it to plants and boundaries, shall we?
You see, I also observe the movie’s theme in nature: some plants stay where they are planted, others grow past their planted space. I’ve got an example of each.
Most of you have heard of basil. It is an herb used in Italian and Asian cuisine. It is a plant that stays where you put it. It has upright stalks and leaves that typically grow up. Basil is content to be where it is put.
Most of you have heard of mint as well. In contrast to basil, mint likes to spread out. Along with stalks, mint grows long octopus-like tendrils that creep along the ground, and sometimes under it, so that it can extend itself. Mint likes to explore. In a garden setting, gardeners are usually told to contain it to a single pot or container to prevent it overtaking the whole garden. It simply likes to expand. That is how it is.
Now, what the heck does all of this have to do with boundaries?
The message of Moana’s father and basil is about finding joy and purpose where you are. Follow tradition, share your gifts with those around you, and stay within the boundary of what is expected.
There is purpose and joy to be found right here.
It is a valid message. It reminds me to recognize and appreciate the beauty and blessings of my “right now” surroundings.
The message of Moana’s grandmother and mint is valid too:
Connecting to yourself and taking aligned action is necessary for living a fulfilled life.
Going beyond the boundary of what is known and expected helps in feeling fulfilled and purposeful. Not only does following my inner knowing/voice help me feel complete, but it usually leads me to having a larger impact in life. When I follow my inner voice, there is always a larger purpose I am serving, even if I do not “see” it myself.
While it is healthy to appreciate wherever you are in life and make the most of it, it is also perfectly acceptable to go beyond what you know because you are being called, led to do so. One is not preferable to the other.
Some value the “bloom where you are planted” viewpoint, but when that viewpoint limits the light and inner calling of those that want something different, it is a problem. In contrast, those that value exploration and constant expansion may miss the gifts in front of them because they are in such a hurry to see what is next.
Navigating boundaries is about doing both: appreciating what you have where you are and being open to the possibility of new ideas and exploration.
Having the tools of knowing how to listen to my inner authority (for my Human Design folks) by listening to my body is how I navigate boundaries. Sometimes I do best when I stay where I am, like Moana’s father and basil.
I also enjoy the connections and gifts found in the environment I’m in. Like right now, I’m enjoying a women’s circle I’m in. I’m getting nourished by our bonfire chats of truth and shared experiences. In addition, my deck and it’s plants are a place I enjoy being right now. Writing these articles is fun now, too.
Other times, I have felt the call to expand or explore. Like Moana and mint, I often feel the urge to find new places. And when I pay attention to those feelings, the shifts can be major: moving to another state away from all family and friends, ending my elementary teaching career, going to massage school, and eventually closing the massage part of my business.
What I’m inviting you to explore is how much of you is content with “Where you are” like Moana’s father and the basil, and how much of you wants to see “How far you’ll go” like Moana and the mint?
And can you be happy being both?
Can you honor your need to stay and savor your life as it is — seeing it’s blessings and your purpose?
Can you honor that even though where you are now has purpose and blessings, that listening to your inner call of exploration and expansion has a greater purpose?
And that especially in the face of resistance to your ideas of expansion from your circle of influence, you must follow it for you to feel fulfilled?
Most importantly, can you let others do what is best for them without interfering?
Can you let your boundaries pertain to YOU and not force them and their expectations upon others?
Can you let others be free to choose what is correct for them?
there is purpose and joy to be found right here…
