At the beginning of August I had the opportunity to see my family, both sides actually.
My family planned a week-long vacation where we could relax, reconnect, and have fun at a home in southern Pennsylvania. My husband’s side of the family planned a cookout in Wisconsin that also turned into a birthday party for my brother-in-law. One followed the other, so away my hubby and I went.
We headed towards Pennsylvania first to hang with my family. We hadn’t seen each other for several months, and Michael, my husband, hadn’t seen them in over a year. The group of us hung out, hiked, and did jigsaw puzzles together. Some went ziplining while others kayaked. Everyone took turns preparing evening meals.
And, I had to get working on this article, so I asked them for their ideas about joy and navigating joy. I’d like to share their responses.
Joy is enjoying the moment, seeing beauty in nature, being with others and having fun, and also, for some, being alone and enjoying the peace of their surroundings and what they’re doing. Skiing, running, walking are some of the ways that joy is experienced as is being with people we love and seeing them succeed or be joyful themselves; sharing in the moment with them. And there is joy in watching others change and grow over time.
Joy is feeling relief or comfort, and moments where we’re engaged with our senses and really drinking it all in. Joy can be experienced upon reflection, too, of moments that made us happy or full of life. Joy can be as simple as enjoying an entire Costco chocolate muffin instead of just half.
When I ask about navigating joy my family found this question trickier to answer. On one hand, joy is found in the unscripted moments that happen. And on the other hand, we can choose to do things we know will bring us those feelings of joy. Things like purposely having ice cream just because you enjoy it. Or choosing to hang out with people that lift you up and with whom you have fun. We can “navigate to joy” by making decisions that will lead us to joyful moments. There was also a feeling among my family members that we couldn’t control joy. That it is untamed and free. And why would we want to “control” it? Wouldn’t we want it to be what it is without our interference?
I enjoyed having these conversations with (as my family put it) the focus group that met August 8 in Somerset, PA. It gave me a lot to ponder. But really the best part was how they’d call out the joyful moments along the rest of our visit with a, “That is joyful for me” comment.
And after our time with my family, my husband and I headed towards Wisconsin. Along the way, we did choose to do some things that would increase our experiences of joy. First we stopped by Cuyahoga Valley National Park in Ohio. Even though the rain denied our idea of riding our bikes around there, we still had a wonderful time being in nature and seeing others having a good time too. We both enjoy hiking and being in nature, so this little pitstop was a highlight for us. Joy was chosen.
After some heavy rainstorms, Michigan delighted us with a lovely, unexpected sunset.
Joy was unscripted.
Another spot we explored on our way to Wisconsin was the shore of Lake Superior. We stopped and collected rocks on the shoreline in Grand Marais, Michigan. I’ve always enjoyed collecting seashells, but collecting rocks was just as fun! We were like kids showing off our rocks to each other and getting that giddy look on our faces when the cold waves crashed up onto our feet. Joy, chosen and unscripted.
After our visit to the Pictured Rocks National Park ranger station, we were blessed to see a black bear lumber across the road. Too fast for a photo, but a joyful moment of the unexpected awesomeness of nature.
In Wisconsin with the other side of my family, I got to ask the same questions. The themes here were about being together, having fun together, seeing others being happy. Music, unhurried mornings, and moments of synergy were all ways that joy was experienced. Feeling connected to others and God, being fully present in the moment with all the senses engaged, along with taking time to reflect on happy times were ways joy shared its presence.
Navigating joy was talked about as putting yourself in situations that you know from past experience brings you joy. We chatted about wanting to stay in the joyful moments as long as we can, AND still feeling the joy and the warmth of joy in our bodies even after the “high” of the joyful moment has passed.
My husband even remarked to me how much joy he receives as he watches me as I peddle and groove listening to Disney songs on the bike ride we shared while there. He knows I’m having fun, and it increases the joy he has too. The rest of our visit passed with laughter, playing outdoor games together, sharing tasty food and deep conversations. Being together.
So what’s my take away from writing this article?
Joy is an experience and a feeling. It has many flavors and many pathways through which it can be experienced. It co-exists with other emotions.
Joy is unscripted, yet it can also be chosen. We can be open to receiving it when it is unscripted, or we can choose to be closed to those opportunities.
Joy can be chosen, but not controlled. We can choose to do things where our possibility of being joyful is high, but it cannot be expected. It cannot be forced.
Joy overall, is a connecting experience. Even if we experience it alone on a foggy golf course at sunrise, on an unmarked ski slope, on our daily run, or even just feeling our toes being cozy in our bed, it connects us to the larger joy of being alive on this planet.
I want to leave you with a practical navigation tool for joy. Feel free to take a screenshot for ease of use later:
- Start by jotting down all the ways you have experienced joy. You can add more as you live more!
- Use this list as a resource for you during the times where maybe you can’t connect with joy as easily.
- Reflect on the joyful times to remind you that you can receive joy right now.
- Use the list to empower you to recall that joy IS all around.
