I sat down for dinner alone at a restaurant in Torrance, California. The restaurant was called “King Shabu Shabu,” and I can still remember that I was facing south and sitting in a red leather booth. The room was filled with the California sunshine, and it was nearly empty, save one couple huddled in the corner.
I had just exited the 405 freeway, braving traffic in my commute from LA, where I was attending an LSAT prep class in a large lecture hall downtown. I had spent four years getting ready for law school — I had received the grades, the internships, and the recommendations I would need. Mastering the LSAT was the last step on my to-do list for what I then considered success.
I ordered food and opened my giant LSAT prep book. Looking for any way to procrastinate, I began reading the foreword in the front of the book. It began by congratulating me on making this big, brave, and courageous step. I smiled. But the next passage stopped me in my tracks.
The author wrote, “Do you want to change the world? Do you want to impact lives and have a positive impact on those around you? If that’s really your goal, you could save $150k, and instead of law school, go join the US Peace Corps.” I instantly felt a rush come through my body from head to toe. Was this a joke? What was this advice doing in an overpriced LSAT prep book?
I had always dreamed of joining the Peace Corps; now, after reading this likely sarcastic comment, I could feel in my gut that this was what I had wanted all along. I also realized at that moment that I had never questioned my desire to go to law school. Never really thought about why I was headed in this direction. Never considered if this was what I wanted in my heart, or if it was just something that sounded like “the right thing to do.”
I closed the book, asked for my food-to-go, and knew I was about to make a big change.
Within months I was touching down in Mali, the largest country in West Africa and the third poorest country in the world. It’s also one of the most glorious places on planet earth with the friendliest and most inviting people.
Looking back, I felt that decision at such a visceral level and knew nothing was going to stand in my way. Obstacle after obstacle presented itself, and I overcame them with a fire I didn’t know I had. This fire burned brighter than at any time during those four years, two majors, multiple internships, and tens of thousands of dollars chasing what I believed to be a success. Attending law school was someone else’s definition of success, not mine. When the decision was right, my body knew it instantly.
Today, I help clients learn to recognize this inner “knowing” and take action from that same embodied place. Sounds crazy, right?
What is actually crazy is living a life turned off and “successful” by society’s definition. What’s crazy is saying “yes” to everyone else except that inner voice that says, “there’s more.” We’ve all made this mistake, but it’s never too late.
Everything in my head shouted, “go to law school.” But my heart, my essence, my being, pulled me toward the Peace Corps, and no explanation was needed.
This two-year stint in West Africa turned out to be life-changing for me, not only because of the impact and experiences I had but because it was there that I met my husband. We now have three amazing little boys and a dog named “Tigo,” which means “peanut” — named after the peanut sauce that is the country’s staple meal.
As I reflect on that moment in the Torrance restaurant, I realize the author of that LSAT book gave me the permission I had not given myself — she allowed me to redefine success on my terms.
Today, as a successful BodyMind Coach, my clients come to me and seek support around finding and declaring their definition of success. Like me, they are ready to break free from the rules and regulations that they’ve placed on themselves as a result of stereotypical social norms.
Especially today, as we find ourselves redefining everything we’ve ever known, it’s been so inspiring to support clients to find and define success for themselves and equip them with the tools to move boldly forward.
I thank God every day that I listened, even then as a 20 something, to my inner knowing, to the woman inside that said hell no to my programmed definition of success and hell yes to the wild woman inside of me that knows success to be a life of grand adventure with the unknown at every turn. A life where I lean into the pain and know that the gift in this struggle will reveal itself.
I so wish I could find that LSAT author and thank her. That one line, “why not join the US Peace Corps and save $150k,” changed my life.
