Navigating joy comes down to redefining what joy means to me.
Growing up as a kid, I believed I would feel joy when everything was perfect and just right in my life.
This belief brought with it this feeling of always chasing joy and that I would never be able to actually reach it because there had never been a time in my life when everything was perfect and just right.
If it was ever perfect and just right, it would last only seconds as my mind would immediately generate something to do or worry about or bring my awareness to something that wasn’t just right, and then suddenly, that feeling of joy would vanish.
What I have come to learn is that joy is not this place or destination where everything is perfect, amazing, and great. Joy is in the shit-show and swirl of your everyday life. Joy is in those moments when you feel like you just can’t take anymore and all that is left is to push your chair back, surrender, and allow that energy to move through you so it can be heard, felt, and seen.
The shit-show is actually an invitation to joy! I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me for a moment here.
What I know is that oftentimes, when my environment and all that is around me is going to hell in a handbasket, I know that joy IS coming. While it isn’t obvious at the moment, joy is there, waiting for me to feel the full gamut of emotions so I can come out the other side and find it.
To get there, to get to that feeling of joy, you must move through how you are feeling and honor that first.
Honor your shit-show my friends!
“Every feeling fully felt is bliss.”- Joseph Campbell
I knew in my mind what this quote was saying. I understood it logically. Yet, due to a recent experience where I had to feel all the feelings, I know what this quote fully means in my body!
I received some awful news the other day and I felt rage.
Pure rage.
At first, I felt like a crazy person.
I felt like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum and I wasn’t sure if it was okay for me to feel like this. I thought if I felt rage that meant that I was capable of hurting people. I know that’s not true, but my mind has some ridiculous stories sometimes.
I felt like I was out of my mind. Then I felt the shame of being a bad person for even feeling rage in the first place. I couldn’t sit still, the energy needed to move, so I got up from my chair. I slammed doors and I yelled and screamed and I ugly cried! I felt so lost and in such disbelief. I took a moment to recognize that these energies were not me but rather energy that was moving through me.
I knew I had to turn to my embodiment practice, and my tools to support me even though I didn’t want to.
My pool is my most favorite place in the whole world. It calms me and returns me back to me. It’s where I feel joy.
At the time though, I didn’t want to get in. I didn’t want to do anything.
Then, I realized and remembered that I got to choose how I wanted to feel; and at that moment, I wanted to feel peace. I made myself get in the pool.
As soon as I got in, I felt the peace and calm of the water wash over me and take all the anger, frustration, and rage from me, and I literally felt joy.
I felt joy and peace wash over me.
Within 30 seconds of getting in my pool, I was crying tears of relief.
I realized at that moment that I had let all of my emotions and energies move through me, I allowed them to complete their circuit of being expressed. Then, when that circuit was complete and had been fully felt, I could then move through to joy.
Something shifts in your physiology when we don’t process the energy and emotions that we feel when they show up… it stays stuck in your body. And guess what, you stay stuck too.
Now, I know that when the anger, rage, frustration shows up, or whatever “negative” emotion is coming up for me in that moment, I can fully feel those feelings and fully let those energies move through because I know joy is coming. It’s just around the bend.
Yes, those feelings and emotions, those energies may still be sharp and they might hurt and, I know my work is to feel ALL the emotions, fully. I can’t skip and just go to the ones I want. The only way to true joy is through the nasty ugly stuff that we tend to think of as “negative.”
Which then begs the question how are any of these emotions or energies negative when they lead to joy?
They are the pathway to the freedom of feeling joy.
It’s not that this work is easy. It’s not. It is a practice. The more you are in tune with your body the more you realize that it is leading you through to exactly what you need!
As I was going through this process, I didn’t know what I was going to do next. I let my body lead. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t resist. There were a few moments I thought my hubby was really scared of me… and I just kept going and I let it all out and I got it all out and he understood. Fully. In. That. Moment. He. Understood.
Our people, our real and true people, get us and they know what we need and they are there to support us.
It’s easy to get caught up in the shit show that we can encounter on a daily basis. And, I feel like this is where, unintentionally, many people stay stuck repeating the pattern, reliving the experience and circumstance over and over again, versus letting these energies and emotions move through them so they can complete the circuit and move into joy.
Feeling the big “negative” emotions, that’s the way through to joy.
It’s not that my situation is solved or complete. It’s not! AND, I am not going to wait for this situation to be solved and complete before I feel joy!
Now from this empowering and joyful space, I get to continue to make grounded and aligned choices as to what is best as I move forward
Joy is waiting for you at the other end of feeling the shitty feelings.
How is joy supporting you through those difficult times? What are the tools that you turn to for support in returning you back to you? Mine was the pool. I encourage you to connect with your tools and use them to move through to joy.
