I honestly didn’t know what to say, so I kept on massaging my client’s shoulders. It was early Spring of 2008 when this client ended up on my table, and I was working as a massage therapist at a fancy spa in downtown Charleston, South Carolina.
He continued, only now he lifted his face out of the face cradle:
“Yes, you were kneading my shoulders, but you were able to get to the heart of the issue by asking me the perfect question. You shouldn’t just be a coach, you are a coach!”
It turns out, he was an executive coach who worked with fortune 500 companies around the world and he ended up inviting me to a seminar that would affirm something that had been swirling in my mind for a few years–this coaching thing was exactly what I needed to better support my clients.
After practicing massage therapy for a few years, the idea of the “body-mind connection” had become very obvious to me. How people feel impacts how they think and how people think impacts how they feel. The only challenge was–most people were living disconnected from what they were feeling, and yet they wondered why they couldn’t break free from stress and pain.
I knew in my core that their bodies were talking and I wanted to help them learn to listen.
I had hired my first coach in 2006 and had started seeing the impact of asking better questions in my own life. During that session with that executive coach, it was clear to me that the ability to connect with the body and simply ask a better question had profound effects on a person’s life.
Now I wish I could tell you that this was the moment that I fully claimed my role as coach, but it wasn’t.
Nor did I claim my role as coach when I did my first coach training in 2008
… or when I started my own business in 2008 with the intention of combining coaching with bodywork
… or when I actually started charging for coaching services in 2012 (yes, it took that long).
… or when I launched BodyMind Coaching in 2015 and started teaching other holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching framework into their business.
Nowadays, it seems like everyone and their mother is some sort of coach. My newsfeed is filled with business programs where people coach you on mindset and how to create success in your life. And yes–I know that includes me. I help with mindset and success as well.
The thing is, any coaching program that aims to give you answers isn’t really coaching you. To me, the goal of coaching has always been about getting to the better question.
Questions are an opening to a world of possibilities.
Questions expand your awareness.
Questions unlock the power of choice.
Questions help you find freedom.
As a coach, my goal isn’t to get you to a specific answer. My goal is to help you find the question that will help you find your truth.
Coaching to me has always been about holding space, being present, and most of all being curious.
The best coaches aren’t the ones who have the answers. The best coaches are the ones who are willing to dance in the uncertainty of life and help you discover yourself more deeply.
You as you are is everything this world needs.
When I look at coaching from this point of view, I realize that the reason I never fully claimed my role as a coach these past fifteen years wasn’t because I wasn’t coaching. It was because I have been curious, present, and a space holder my whole life.
I am a coach. I always have been and I always will be.
