When we hear the word stillness many of us immediately think of it as the opposite of movement or motion, but stillness is something quite different for me altogether.
In the dictionary, stillness is equal to silence and immobility, a noun defined as “silence; quiet; hush; the absence of motion.”
I struggle with the definition of stillness being the absence of motion. In my mind there is never true stillness within our body, nature, or life. Our natural state of being is not still or silent. What do I mean?
There is no stillness —
no complete quiet, complete still, no total removal of movement. There is always the energetic…
* Our hearts beat
* We have breath
* Our internal body parts are working to keep us alive
* Outdoors the breeze is moving the trees, grass and flowers
* Insects are doing their jobs
* The earth’s animals and people are in motion and not silent, singing and conversing in their own languages
* The sky is in motion with weather patterns
* The sun is constantly orbiting the earth
* The sounds of life in motion
Motion helps me find my stillness and connects me to my knowing, my innermost, my internal GPS, my connection to self, my God, the Holy Spirit, the universe and my people.
We all hold stillness within us that we can bring to anything we do, without necessarily being immobile and still. This stillness is accessible to all of us on an energetic level everyday in all that we do.
For me stillness is an energetic quality of being. I believe it is naturally present in the heart of every human being, equally so. Sometimes after too many sips of caffeine or an intense situation I might not feel it, but it is still always there — yet, sometimes I get disconnected from it.
So, why is it so difficult to be still if stillness is our natural state of being?
It seems as if everything in the way we choose to live takes us away from ourselves. The constant distractions, being too busy, noises, stress, emotions, stimulating food and drink, ideals and beliefs, protective mechanisms, anxiety — you name it. This way of life then becomes our daily lived experience, which we perceive as “normal,” when it is not and we allow it to perpetuate. This perpetuation keeps me disconnected from stillness. And yet, the stillness is always there and is so needed, longed for, and worth reconnecting to.
Our social programming will always leave us tired, exhausted, overwhelmed and underwhelmed. We have to leave the social programming, turn down the noise and connect back into our knowing to find our stillness, our restoration, our way of how we do life. Finding stillness is my opportunity to dissipate all the ways that the community, the government, the church, the world, our families, the people in our ears, our schools, etc. tell me how to live. It’s the opportunity for me to choose, listen, be guided and trust me. In my stillness I receive answers, guidance, clarity, vision, ease, and a rhythm to bring into my daily life.
Stillness requires a surrender, but what are we surrendering to?
I see stillness as a choice. It can be felt by living in a state of presence where I remain connected to myself and am completely present in my body, mind and soul. I am at one with everything, and everyone in all that I do. My life flows with a simple rhythm — the rhythm of my stillness.
In this quality of presence, there is something that stands still, but it is not absent of physical movement. Rather, it is my beingness that remains unaffected by any movement, action or doing even though it moves, acts and does. It is like the depth of the ocean unaffected by its waves. It is the ability to surrender to my inner-heart, inner knowing, and live from here in all that I do.
The enemy of my stillness is fear. I surrender to stillness in my heart and let go of protection and security.
I love motion, I crave it, I rely heavily on the physical motion to keep my mobility. I find my embodied state by doing certain things that get me out of my head and centered back into my body. This embodied state through movement has kept my life sustainable in so many ways. I need it.
In the last two years I have experienced forced physical stillness in my life. It came in the forms of cancer, Covid-19, and severe injuries due to a cycling accident. With each of these “opportunities,” I struggled with the reality of knowing that these three things would bring change to my physical capabilities of motion, my routine, and take away the very thing that kept my life sustainable and created a deep connection within myself. I grieved the loss of my motion with each of these. It took time for me to coach myself out of some dark and grieving moments. And then, I discovered that what I really wanted is to feel connected, deep stillness, in relationship with myself — in the activity of being. Not just in the activities of doing! The walk, hike, run, paddle, bike ride are amazing, but I was reminded that my stillness doesn’t solely come from all the doing. It also comes from being. Sure the doing of the things that helped me find my stillness were helpful, but my stillness was still there for me. Still in motion and all around me.
I know many are in search of the opportunity to be still. In my own life, raising four kids with two working parents, there wasn’t a lot of time to find our physical stillness. There were dance recitals, ball games, swim meets, clubs, and all that stuff that goes along with those activities. The days were filled with motion of pickups and drop-offs, spectating along with the basic acts of survival like nutrition, grocery shopping, and laundry. It was a constant race to get all the things done. We would schedule a family vacation a few times a year to find and connect to ourselves again, our stillness. But really, as much fun, deserving, and amazing as they were, this type of stillness is and was not sustainable for me or any of us. We also tried the external ways of reconnecting with spa dates, massage, movie nights at home, meeting friends for dinner and/ or drinks. We were escaping and even numbing ourselves to create stillness.
We cannot create stillness. It is already there. It is internal. We can’t look for it and find it. It is already available wherever we are. Therefore, stillness is not something we have to go in search of, nor is it a journey into escapism or numbness. It is where we come from and what we are innately made of, and thus it is our natural state of being.
……… …
The rock I stare at every day from the backyard of my house is still, yet there is movement and life all around it. Nothing else around it is still. Life is happening. Fish are swimming, water is flowing, birds are flying, nesting, frolicking, soaring, and the big ones are fishing for their survival. The ducks, the geese, the wind and clouds continue to move with the ever-changing current. The highway that runs alongside this giant “still” rock plays host to the many commuting and traveling vehicles that pass by at high speeds. The speed and height of the river surrounding it is always unpredictable due to Mother Nature and those that manage the needs of the damn. Life is in constant movement (motion) around this rock, yet there is stillness. I look at this rock every morning before I rise out of my bed and throughout my day. It is the constant steadfast reminder that Life flows in motion, yet stillness is ever present.
Can it be possible to feel spacious and still while dealing with the demands of life?
Can it be possible to live life deeply connected to who you are and to life at the same time?
What happens when we acknowledge the true power that stillness holds?
Perhaps one answer can be found in this quote from a favorite childhood movie of mine, The Wizard of Oz:
“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I shouldn’t look any farther than my own backyard.”
stillness is our natural state of being.
