“Wake up…
Mom…Mom!
Wake up…
go over to that side of her…
put her music louder…
just hold her hand..
I think it’s time…”
At that moment, my Mom and I looked at each other, overcome with a mixture of love and heartache, with tears flooding our eyes and our hearts racing because we both knew it was time, even if we weren’t ready for it.
We took a deep breath together, said a silent prayer, and as my Mom turned up the volume to Abuela’s favorite kingdom song, she started singing it into her right ear. I held her left hand tighter and placed the palm of my other hand on top of her heart, feeling the strength of her heartbeat fading away.
I gently nuzzled my face close to hers, barely feeling a pulse, and this is when she took her final breath.
It was her time.
After years of providing periodic care, after weeks of providing hospice care, after days of not eating or sleeping, it was time for me to shift into a different space, to slow down, to be more present.
It was time for me to consciously claim ease, and the catalyst to doing so was sitting with the grief that filled my soul.
It has been a year since Abuela died. Because of past trauma and paranoia I have experienced over the sudden death of loved ones, I used to think that when this moment came with her, I would lose my last real spiritual tie in this world. Thus, losing my source of life. And to me, I feared who I was inside would die too.
But something beautiful happened when I intentionally chose to grieve.
Life slowed down for me.
Life slowed down FOR ME.
I began to catch my breath and do only the things that my grief allowed me to do.
Grief was like a caregiver who lovingly invited me into her warm embrace to experience the secret world of “Einstein Time,” the place where time stops for you and waits on you to create it and lead it.
All of this “extra” time allowed me to claim more ease, which naturally carried over into my business endeavors and thus began a deepened process of effort with ease.
You see, I used to create A LOT of things, keeping myself super busy and didn’t necessarily make it easy for myself, even though these creations were aligned for me at the time I created them.
I have been down this road many times, this path of effort WITHOUT ease. I have experienced the energy shift from doing to being and it used to feel like an either/or state of existence where I could only choose one versus the other.
By intentionally grieving, without rushing myself or running away from the super sad moments, and just sitting with those intense feelings, I have discovered there is an expansive world of spaciousness, hidden in plain sight, to be found in both the times when I am doing and in the moments when I am simply being.
This is the art of receiving: to allow spaciousness with ease to accompany how you choose to spend your time, ALL the time. And this is the most loving, creative, and significant thing you can DO.
In this way of “doing,” my inner world of being has shifted massively from a scared and scarred environment of intricate layers, to a free and expansive, vast, emotional depth of richness with layers of integrity that continuously fortify who I am at my core.
You may be grieving a loss or a death of someone you really love, or the normalcy of how things used to be. You may be going through a change in pace, a different environment, or reminiscing on a past relationship.
Grief comes in many forms and if you keep running from it or suppressing it, it will continue plaguing you inside and stealing your time, until you are forced to stop.
Where have you been holding yourself back or complicating things?
What have you been holding on to that you are ready to release?
What would happen if you sit with the grief that resides within you and let it guide you?
Where would your grief lead you to?
Imagine experiencing that freedom that comes from inner alignment, that inner sense of accomplishment and acceptance of what is.
Imagine walking forward with this peace and joy that lights you up each step on your path.
Imagine being able to slow down, take a breath, enjoy the moment while things are getting done simultaneously!
This is what it means to experience spaciousness in the doing and ease within the effort, while simply being present.
It starts with you making a simple choice on behalf of yourself and taking a simple step forward on the path of presence.
On this path of ease with effort, you get to live a life where freedom flows through your days as you harness this vibe during each and every one of your ventures that will become adventures full of mystery, spontaneity, excitement, fulfillment, grounded within EASE!
There is an art to being present. There is an art to doing with presence. There is an art to receiving.
Find the spaciousness as you create your masterpiece and be still as you claim ease!
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ALINA MCGILLOWAY
Alina McGilloway, Creator and Founder of Core Momentum™ of Illumify A•nu•mí LLC, is a Certified BodyMind Life Coach & Biz Consultant with over 15 years experience as a Licensed Massage Therapist, Licensed Esthetician, Creative Entrepreneur, and Wholistic Biz Owner.
She intentionally provides a safe space for spiritually centered high achieving leaders, entrepreneurs & visionaries, to get off the track of overgiving and overdoing and start shifting the direction of momentum in their life, creating movement away from external pressures that drain you TOWARD the internal drivers that inspire you and build you up!
She collaboratively supports you in accessing your Core Momentum™, your inner channel of resilience, integrity, and true alignment as your main driver in life toward your vision and your purpose with simple steps that unleash your creativity and express your voice authentically!
These mentorship, consultations, and coaching experiences become your solid foundation to building a system that facilitates flow as you harness your core energy, find true freedom, and feel good!
Website:
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illumify.a.nu.mi
